The two of us first learned of each other’s experiences – in early 2011, decades after the abuse took place. We found that it was deeply healing for us to be able to talk with each other. We had both suffered in silence for decades, wondering whether we were the only ones, so it was deeply meaningful to learn that we were not alone. Our conversations were painful because they brought up humiliating memories, but it was a good kind of pain – the kind that heals.
When Amos Kamil began researching his June 10, 2012 article in the New York Times Magazine, he found his way to us, and we were happy to help with his article. If you have not already read that article, please read it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/10/magazine/the-horace-mann-schools-secret-history-of-sexual-abuse.html. We know that many who read that article will experience both pain (as their own memories come rushing back) and relief (as they realize that they are not alone).
We also wish to serve close family members and loved-ones of abuse survivors at Horace Mann. We know that you too may be hurting and wondering how to help your loved-ones who were abused.
If you yourself were abused at Horace Mann, or if someone you know was abused at Horace Mann, we welcome you here – whether under a pseudonym or under your real name. We invite you to post comments about your experience. To post comments, you must sign in below, but you can create a pseudonymous Gmail account to do so if you prefer. We want to make this as safe a space as is possible on the internet for such a sensitive topic. To that end, comments will be moderated. We will do our best to delete comments we believe are abusive or harmful, but we will not delete comments just because we may disagree with them. Please note that this site is NOT a place to post unsubstantiated rumors you may have heard about one or another Horace Mann teacher if you yourself cannot bear witness to their truth. If you yourself had an experience, or if someone you know had an experience, we welcome you to share that here, but please do not post mere gossip. We had many wonderful teachers at Horace Mann, and we do not want to malign teachers who were innocent of any wrongdoing.
The Horace Mann Survivors are helping students all over the country by insisting upon accountability. The refusal of the school to officially apologize is deplorable and cannot be accepted.
The only real reason it ongoing because it did because individuals who understood and were capable of find a solution made a decision to do nothing at all. My sympathies in your loss.
This is my first time discussing this out loud. Im a male student that was in a sexual relationship with a female teacher from my sophomore year through graduation in ’96 at HM. I have ruined my life by destroying all that I love, abusing alcohol and drugs, and a failed suicide attempt 4 yrs ago after a failed marriage. I have lost good friends, and destroyed relatinships. ,I don’t know what else to say right now. I had a lot going for me at HM…. Athletic scholarship to college, only to drop out and start my eternal downward spiral. Forever I told myself that “it just happened” and “I’m ok”. I guess I’m not. I had a great group of friends that I neglected and abandoned for this teacher. I had a best friend that I embarrassed and miss every day. I’m sorry to you all
Wall Street Journal article re HM alums hiring Leslie Crocker Snyder can be found at this web address:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324235304578437101253069188.html
I read the Horace Mann piece in The New Yorker earlier this week and have been haunted ever since. As the mother of 3 teenage boys I am equally heartbroken and enraged for those abused by these sadistic criminals disguised as teachers. I hope those who are still alive will be brought to justice and made to suffer for the rest of their days on this earth.
It’s so incredibly sad that so many were victimized. My academic adviser, history teacher and coach in the 8th grade was Mark Wright. I first heard rumors of “inappropriate” behavior in 9th grade when he suddenly disappeared. My understanding of how the school dealt with such behavior became clear a few years later when he was “honored” at a homecoming game. The cult of personality phenomenon was not limited to Berman. In fact, there were many such cults. No doubt, not all of them were abusive. Looking back, it seems ridiculous the degree to which teachers and students intermingled in each others lives. I never felt a sense of authority from the teachers and administration. I think our cohort was especially vulnerable because so many of us were in transition whether the result of parents getting divorced, abuse at home or the usual teenage angst. The predators used all this to their advantage. I can see now how tempting the lure was. Be a part of a group that’s better than what you are. We all were at one time or another approached in subtle ways. I fortunately was too dumb or clueless to join. For those less fortunate my only wish is that you’re able to find peace and know that while the school remains silent your plea is heard and embraced by the community at large.
Although I was never sexually molested during my years at Horace Mann (1962-1968), I was daily verbally abused by sadistic teachers, and we all knew that there were some very strange adults at this school which endlessly boasted about how prestigious it was. As adolescents, however, it was difficult for us to separate the teachers–who often seemed like the errata of creation–into such categories as eccentric, incompetent, and brilliant. Nor were we terribly aware of what today students would quickly recognize as sexually problematic behavior. When Mr. Reilly kept getting beaten up in the men’s room at Van Cortlandt Park, I just figured he was the victim of bad luck; I used that men’s room every day after track practice and had never been mugged. When Mr. Lin–the English teacher/chaplain/gardener/cross country coach–took off my shoe one day in English class and placed it on his desk for the whole class, I just thought this was part of his bizarre schtick. When Mr. Somary told me I had beautiful eyes, I figured he was unusually attentive to detail and merely complimenting me. And so forth. Mainly what I recall about Horace Mann was that I hated every minute of every day I was in it. I would get detentions for such crimes as talking to a friend while eating an ice cream cone, walking down the hall with my hands in my pockets, and bringing in a note from my parents about being absent so I could visit a college after I had been absent instead of a week before. I recall being publicly ridiculed by science teacher Mr. Zackshevsky for having received an A+ on a history exam by Mr. Alexander (one of the few really good guys and great teachers I had there), with Mr. Z announcing to the class that I must have cheated because I was too stupid to have earned an A+. I recall so many incidents of sadistic cruelty by the faculty, and being made to feel like I was a moron. It took me many years to get over the experience of Horace Mann. Like many of my classmates, I dropped out of college, got my head straight after years of therapy, and then made something of myself. This particular moron went on to get his doctorate In the History of American Civilization from Harvard University, become a professor of English at Purdue, receive fifty teaching awards from both of these universities and be named by the Carnegie Foundation the finest university teacher in Indiana in any discipline, and author four books and two dozen articles. But what success I have earned in life was in spite of being a Horace Mann graduate, not because of it. Horace Mann was a hole I had to crawl out of, a traumatic experience I had to overcome, in order to succeed in life. Even now, 45 years later, I can honestly say I received nothing positive from having gone there, and I will always hate the place. Frankly, I would not be sorry to hear that it had been fire torched. None of this latest news about it being a hothouse for pedophiles surprises me, for it was always a cesspool of moral corruption. May those who made it so rot in the hell they so richly deserve.
“May those who made it [a cesspool of moral corruption] rot in the hell they so richly deserve.” Amen.
I did not attend HM but have been following this scandal since it broke. I am heartbroken just thinking about all the loss you and your families have suffered at the hands of these sick individuals. Todays Newyorker is frighteningly chilly about Robert Berman. I hope that for Doug’s mother, he will finally come to justice. You are all in my thoughtls and prayers
My issue of New Yorker arrived in my mailbox torn with a curt apology from USPS for damaging my mail. It was not until I opened the magazine and read about Horace Mann that I realized how apropos it was that a damaged magazine with a compelling true story of how a teacher could damage a man for life . At least the USPS apologized.
I am 64 and a former National Teacher of the Year. My abuser is still alive. I have never told my wife, daughter, sister, deceased parents the painful and convoluted story of what happened to me. I cannot find the courage or the words to be able to ever speak out loud.
Although I have only attempted suicide once, I am and always will be a damaged man. I have done everything in my power to be a good human and make a difference. Friendships are very difficulty for me to maintain or even peruse in my mind.
I am sincerely sorry for the pain, confusion, and upheaval that ONE human being brought into your life. I envy all of you actually. You have found the courage, fortitude, if you will, to speak out. I have not. Who would believe me? My tormentor was very respected and loved and is still loved. Nobody would believe and what good would it really do now?
I am just praying that someday, somehow, I will have the courage to tell my wife of 44 years what happened to me. Someone deserves to know before I leave this life and leave all of my secrets behind.
I am so very, very sorry that all of this happened to you by a person so selfish, so despicable, so slimy to speak in the vernacular that he believed that it was his right to cause you so much pain.
I just realized that I made this all about me. I did not mean to do that. this is the first time in my 64 years, however, that I have eer even spoken about my demons that happened so long ago.
I don’t think anyone would begrudge you the opportunity to share your own story among sympathetic listeners / readers.
Dear TS-
The account of your life of silence is harrowing. May I suggest that instead of trying to go alone through the decision of whether to tell or not to tell–that you get some support so you are not so isolated in the experience. Look for a therapist who specializes in adult survivors, or for a group of survivors anonymous. You can just listen and observe at first and not have to tell anything until you are ready.
Maybe telling, or at least beginning to tell these people will open the door for you to know if and when you also want to tell the primary people in your life. Please stop berating yourself for “lack of courage”–get some companions who can walk along with you. Then you can go very slowly, at your own pace.
You sound like a man who very much needs to tell and just hasn’t figured out how to get the right conditions in place first.
Best of luck to you.
From 1959 to 1960 the same Robert Berman — I think he was about 28 at most — spent a year at a Vermont public school as an English teacher. We said he was on sabbatical from Horace Mann in NYC. I was a senior, He was both my English Lit teacher and had the seniors’ home room. A group of us came to be great admirers of him — he was brilliant, knowledgeable, interesting to small-town kids with big dreams. Thanks to him I applied to Ivy League schools and not just the Univ. of Vermont. I know that he influenced others to go on to college too. Although he never behaved inappropriately with me or with the few friends I knew best, there was still something dark about him. For example, he had a real human skull that was both new and that of a young person. He said it was willed to him by a young man who was executed. The closest anything came to inappropriate was when a few of us senior guys stayed at his apartment until 3 AM one night. For me, that was simply my first experience with late-night bull sessions that would become a big part of my later life. Having said all of this, I cannot say I am surprised by recent revelations. As I said, he was strange. And there were a few murmurings about him, but very few and nothing specific that I heard. But, as I look back, it all kind of fits — he was dark, sometimes enjoyed being intimidating or putting a student down. Sad. And tragic. My sympathies to those who knew the later Robert Berman, the one who had evidently become more accomplished at grooming young men. P.S. I did get into an Ivy League school.
It should read above “He said he was on sabbatical …”
I believe the photos of these Horace Mann monsters should be published on the front page of the New York Times. Seems like a perfect storm of uncaring or unresponsive parents and administrators and students who enjoyed becoming the creme de la creme (shades of the Prime of Miss Jean Brody).
http://www.ny1.com/content/education/179075/former-horace-mann-student-alleges-long-term-sexual-abuse-from-teacher
Johannes Somary was fired from St. Patrick’s Cathedral as its music director by Cardinal Egan after Somary had held the position for only two years and right after the priest abuse scandal came out. The rector of the cathedral, Rev. Clarke, was also fired shortly thereafter. Notably, it was a letter from a survivor to Cardinal Dolan that caused Old St. Patrick’s Cathedral to cancel Somary’s memorial service. I feel physically ill when I look at photos or see articles honoring Somary.
I was not sexually abused at Horace Mann, but feel compelled after reading some of these tragic occurrences to write about my own creepy experience in the 6th grade with a teacher Mrs. Mary Wertheim, who held blatantly sadistic and bizarre teaching practices. She handed out her own written instructions to 6th graders about how to kill someone and then shrink their heads. She included details like how to hide the smell using towels underneath doors. She openly and enthusiastically enjoyed talking about methods of murders and executions with her 12 year old students. She also had a macabre collection of frogs that had been skinned alive and zippers were placed where their mouths used to be. Mr. Fountain, who was principle at the time, was aware of her disturbing teaching practices and chose to do nothing. She continued to teach at Horace Mann for at least a decade more, and unfortunately I would not be surprised to hear if she is still there. I used to think that Horace Mann chose to look the other way. I did not attend HM in high school, but sadly, I now think there may have been a more sinister acceptance and actual encouragement of evil that pervaded the entire school. My heartfelt sympathy and sorrow for those who experienced such horrific atrocities. May sites like this help you to know you are not alone and find healing.
Not every student is going to like or appreciate every teacher they had. As educators I want to believe we made an objective effort to communicate and motivate our students to reach their potential. How successful we were certainly varied. One wants to believe that education is a two way street and we are listeners as well. I would like to believe that those offended by my actions would have communicated at that time. To make comments some 30 or 40 years later about some program I permitted to take place or how I reacted to a student or infer something about my actions in another environment seems inappropriate without giving me an opportunity to respond.
Here is your chance to reply. Please do so.
There’s a post above that makes some strange references to Dan Alexander, and I need to step in and defend the man.
Mr. Alexander was my teacher, my soccer coach, and my employer at his summer camp. He is also now my friend.
Whatever nutty innuendoes you’re suggesting are troublesome and ridiculous. There were some great teachers at Horace Mann; Dan was one of them.
Lord knows, I worked at a summer camp for many years, and that doesn’t mean I’m a monster. To suggest otherwise, is really irresponsible.
Regarding the film, it’s my understanding that when Dan was asked by HM alums if they could film on campus, he gave them permission without first asking to review the script. If he was guilty of anything, it was of being to trusting. That’s all. Dan had hired HM’s first black secretary, a woman to run the bookstore, and was supportive of Eilleen Mullady as Head of School.
Your comments are hurtful.
It feels great knowing that my mother is in Heaven and she will hopefully never have to feel the feelings of shock, rage, and betrayal that she experienced when she discovered that i had been raped, beaten, sodomized and emotionally abused by a person she trusted.
I know someday I will go on to live a happy life, and maybe someday I will become “normal” again, able to trust people, able to think of myself as worthy of having close friends and relationships. Maybe I will even be able to go back to the person I was before I entered HM, before Mr. McCardell drove me up to that big scary place back on the hill in about 1981 or 1982. That was the year my grandmother died, my parents were distracted – my father as the head of his department at Brooklyn College, and my mother off in Wallingford handling her parents’ estate, and they trusted the school to care for me. It never occurred to them their trust would be betrayed.
I’m so sorry that Ben didn’t make it through the hard times.
At least we survived.
I am gathering signatures for the letter below intended for the New York Times. If you wish to sign, please email hollander.rob@gmail.com at indicating your desire to have your name included.
I intend to list the signatures in alphabetical order including non survivor alumni and survivors alike. I do not need a great many signatures, but I don’t wish to exclude anyone. Alternatively, the signatures can be compiled and submitted by other means — a webpage or or by some other person. In any case, I would like to get this moving quickly, since newspapers do not print letters that are no longer timely.
The proposed letter in its latest version — thanks to Christina Propst for her wise emendations — is as follows (I’ve kept it short to increase the likelihood of getting it published):
…
“To the editor:
In private communication with over 2000 Horace Mann School alumni, we have learned of several instances of sexual abuse perpetrated by past faculty against students, some more egregious than those which have already been published. We are appalled that the school administration has failed to reach out to our classmates who were sexually abused. Our demands for an apology on behalf of those classmates have been met with silence. We are also appalled that those school Trustees who were aware of those abuses at the time and ignored them have not resigned from the Board. We have demanded that they be removed.
Justice, accountability and healing cannot be complete without these first steps.
[signed by ?# of Horace Mann alumni listed alphabetically]“
Please add my name:
Jeffrey Sokolow ’66
Wow, I just discovered this sex abuse re Horace Mann coming out today as I was writing about the connection between Egyptian occultism, child sex ritual/abuse and sexualization of children, my Horace Mann nursery school trips to the MMA, and a curious Sesame Street film that connects all of this in one big ‘hidden in the open’ picture marketed mainstream to children.
I’ve long known about all this and been speaking out about it for YEARS, and as difficult (AND TRIGGERING!) finding this has been for me today, it is very VALIDATING to see it all coming out.
If you are interested in my story and other articles that link what has occurred at Horace Mann to the larger link between bloodline families, the global elite cabal, demonic forces, occultism, satanic sex ritual, targeted individuals and children, and WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT, how to deal with healing, etc, PLEASE see my blog at: artemesiaspeaks.wordpress.com
We are not alone, the rabbit hole goes MUCH deeper than many people realize, and I work with a group of people who have a great deal of information to share about all of this, how to deal with healing, PTSD, DID, mind control and trauma, etc.
I am a survivor and surpassor (I refuse to be a victim!) , and I am part of the spiritual and real-life warriors who are fighting against this kind of abuse against humanity and children. I am so grateful to the folks who have put this site together so that we may connect, share information, and help one another heal.
Thank you, may we find our way to peace, wholeness, healing and also summon our warrior hearts to have the courage to speak out against what has been done to us, that it MAY BE STOPPED ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Dear Ben Balter’s Mom: Some of us are only now learning about Ben’s life and passing and the circumstances around this tragic death. The administration’s insensitive response to the family queries if reprehensible. You were an HM teacher and an HM mom. I did not know Ben. I wish I knew Ben. I have not met you. I think many of us feel your pain and your humanity and know the fairness of your request. Ben Balter’s mom, please know that you are also still teacher to all of us and while we can never stand in Ben’s shoes, we are proud to call you mom and Ben’s mom also. We honor you and Ben as our family as well. Our hearts go out to you and our prayers and our resolve to stand by your family is strengthened by the hundred if not thousands of living alumni. The school’s administration turned its back on Truth and Justice and your and our family then and now. This can never be allowed to stand. Nicholas. V. Chen HM 75
I applaud your efforts to expose the tawdry story of abuse by Horace Mann faculty, I am wondering if any of my brother Adam.s classmates remember Adam as a member of Berman’s Boys.After graduation in 1969, and before heading to Harvard, my brother hung himself in our basement in Scarsdale. My father ,a Harvard alum, had died 3 months before. The repercussions of these events drove our mother into paranoid schizophrenia. She died last November, butif only this information had been made public sooner, she might have been saved from herself, as she blamed herself for Adam’s death. My brother Noah was also a student at Horace Mann during the same time period, and he had no idea all this was going on. So bravo to the survivors brave enough to expose Horace Mann for what it was. How can we revenge our loved ones?If Adam was one we would like to know it. He did travel to Flkorence in his senior year. Our parents were divorcing, so his condition was not recognized. He was very depressed, but spent his time protesting the Vietnam war, and Richard Nixon’s presidency. My childhood and that of my other siblings would have been dramatically different if Berman had been “outed” years earlier. I would appreciate hearing from anyone who can shed some light on my brother’s involvement in this horrific experience. Adam was a beautiful boy, Please share any relevant information, and go on with this. Berman should be in prison. Thank you all for your bravery. Meg Perlman.
This was written by Nancy O, aged 89, and now living in Israel. It expresses only a little of what she and the family all feel.
AMAZING! AMAZING!!!!
The most dangerous man of all has come through this HM expose unscathed! He was the worst of killers. He was responsible for the suicide of our son. The man’s name is ROBERT BERMAN.
He has lived blissfully these many years with a group of “his boys” in Tuxedo Park, NY– a beautiful, upscale town. It is know to be very “elitist”–a term he deplored. Berman taught the boys art–no question. Every year he took about 9 of his “chosen” mid-teen agers to Florence, Italy for the 2 months of the summer vacation. Mr. Cullen, another English teacher at HM had recommended him (pimped him) to Berman for this trip. LUCKY BOY!!! After we had paid the full tuition, we received a phone call from a very courageous school mate warning us not to allow our son to join this group. We were understandably concerned so my husband spent 2 hours on a Saturday morning speaking in person with Berman. At the end of this meeting he OK’d the trip. A fatal mistake. The number of the “chosen” was invariably uneven “forcing” Berman to host one of the boys each night in HIS room. Doug went and returned, never the same.
We have been told that our son turned down the advances, but was consequently ostracised from the good graces of Berman. The boys signed a loyalty oath in blood (not figuratively, really!) to Berman. Imagine! They were so entranced by this Svengali, so afraid of not living up to his expectations, that they would do almost anything to be revered by the devil himself.
Our son completed college Phi Bete and began Harvard graduate school. Then he took his life. He was always frustrated by his own desires and those that Berman tried to impart on him. What a loss.
Nobody, in all the NYTimes articles and comments has mentioned the name of KILLER BERMAN. Has he bought himself immunity with his riches on the backs of his victims?
NKO
Mrs. O:
I was in the Class of ’72, the year behind your son’s at HM. I knew Doug casually and remember him as smart and friendly. In a way, I looked up to him. I was tremendously saddened to hear many years ago that he took his life. I always wondered why. I knew he was in the “Berman crowd” but didn’t know that Berman was a root cause of his death. There are many accounts of Berman’s abuse now posted on the Processing Horace Mann fb page. Your son was not alone. In fact, one of his classmates posted a harrowing account of Berman’s abuse. I can only hope that Berman has now been reported to authorities seeking any account of abuse at HM.
I always wanted to reach out to the O. family to express my sorrow over Doug’s passing and sympathy for your loss, but I didn’t know how. I hope you find some comfort in this post and some sense of justice that the truth about Berman is finally coming out.
Hello, I am so sorry for your horrible loss and can only imagine the anger you must feel. I was close to Mr Berman and traveled with him with several other students. There is something different about the damage wreaked by Berman. He really got his teeth into his students, deeply, and abused them emotionally and physically. I was oblivious to what was going on, but I always knew that there was a *real* inner sanctum, into which I was not invited. It is amazing to me in retrospect that I had no sense of what that real inner sanctum entailed. As sophisticated as we liked to think ourselves as teenagers, we are amazingly vulnerable and unaware.
I assume the net is closing around berman, several people have gone public with stories of his abuse. It is a rotten, sad, brutal story and I’m so sorry it struck home to you. I hope you have found some peace.
Nancy –
What a brave and poignant post. Thank you.
Of course, I immediately thought of Doug when the Magazine section article appeared.
As a close friend of his, especially in the last three years of his life, there are many ways I could go with a response to your post. This being a public forum, I will keep away from areas of sensitivity for you, for me, and for your family. I do want to say that barely a day goes by where I do not think about Doug – both the great times we had together and the tragedy of his loss. I am in Israel at least twice a year; if you want to have a visit, do let me know.
Arthur: Thanks for your sensitive post. You were always a great guy in high school.
The one piece of the puzzle I would like to highlight is that Doug did tell me that he had gone to Mr. Allison (Head of the Lower School) to report an incident he had learned of involving Mr. Somary and a fellow student. This would have been around 1970. He gave Mr. Allison a specific, very graphic report. Doug told me how upset he was by the story. Mr. Allison pooh-poohed it and told Doug not to worry about such ridiculous stories. Even when he told me this story some five year later, Doug was visibly shaken by the lack of validation.
A key difficulty for me, personally, with the article and with the pedophilia at HM is to try to untangle how I have held it all these years: as another HM experience that ‘toughened me up’ for the ‘real world.’ Of course, I experienced the very weird vibes from certain teachers over the course of six years. I heard many stories. I learned to send out a ‘don’t f–k with me’ message to those teachers, even if it meant taking a ‘B’ from Berman or turning down potentially flattering invitations for time with teachers outside of school. Now, I realize that this, perhaps, functional coping mechanism was a reaction to a sickness that a school had no right to perpetuate on me or my classmates. My former pride in my coping skills was a learned behavior at too young an age that engendered an emotional price for decades. Far greater an issue is the price paid by my schoolmates who these predators’ antennae sensed were, in some way, more vulnerable. I cry thinking of those we have lost.
I cannot believe how the school has reacted. Do they not see that alumni who have reacted in horror have numbered in the thousands of alumni? How did lawyers and PR folks become the channel through which the school is reacting, instead of organizational consultants, psychologists, social workers, prosecutors and clergy? It is truly amazing that people I knew in school are now on the Board or are parents and are ducking and covering, rather than leading a healing process – that would engender far better PR and good for the institution.
Thank you to those schoolmates who have courageously been so open, in various postings, with your wounds and struggles. It gives me faith in the value of human struggle and is inspiring.
Are we all going to show up for the 40th reunion? Maybe we should create some form of performance theatre for the event. Maybe we should have a counter-reunion somewhere else and lead our own healing process. Anyone’s thoughts, please.
With love,
Mark (Moshe) Finkel, Class of ‘72
I graduated Horace Mann in 1980. I was assigned to Robert Berman’s English class. I made it for a week and got out of there as fast as possible. No sexual abuse issues, but something was so clearly “not right” about him that I was frightened. I was just a sheltered kid and knew little of the real world, but I knew the way he carried himself and treated people was not normal and not healthy. Much of his abnormal behavior was excused because he was an alleged “genius”, but to any adult that worked with him there’s just no way they wouldn’t know that there was something very dangerous there. The only reason it continued as it did because people who knew and were in a position to do something about it chose to do nothing. My sympathies on your loss.
Why didn’t anyone listen. Why did no one care. Tears. Tears. Tears. Sandusky gave us a face today. Why decades of silence? Now it’s too late.
I have endless stories of nonsexual abuse re: Allison, Van Heckerin, Robert Evans who only preyed on young hustlers (low rent Roy Cohn famous HM closet case also dead of aids in early 80′s) when he could afford it but was an evil martinet in class tried to get me expelled for cursing on the subway after school. The Clinton anecdote above is fascinating since I was friends w/ Bill Clinton, Jr. for decades and have some fondness for dad. But in the currently correct harsh light, he was obviously drunk/hungover, an awful teacher and far too emotionally disturbed to function in his dean/counselor job. In some ways nasty Dan Alex stories are as painful since my classmates mostly loved him while I share the hatred of previous poster.
How long do you think Wooster – 7th grade English – would get away with administering ‘woo pinches’?
He would actually lift you out of your chair and squeeze the flesh under your thigh.
Any others think there were cult-like aspects similar to catholic church?
Why do you mention Wooster?
I am late to the table here, probably because this subject made me anxious, bringing back uncomfortable memories. But I need to validate and support the comment about Mr. Wooster. Not only did he administer the above mentioned “woo pinches,” on a regular basis he would invite a boy to sit on his lap during class, a “privilege” that would earn that boy an exemption from whatever work was being done at the time. I know because I was one of those boys. We knew this was strange and somewhat creepy, but it was a different time and I don’t think we realized how wrong it was. Instead, we were gleeful at getting away with ditching some work. I haven’t thought about this in decades, but it amazes me that, even though I know Wooster was the predator, I feel a strange guilt in writing about this.
The above MSG is from me but got away before I finished filling in my info and signing off. Mr. Wooster’s actions did not go as far as other teachers, at least with me. But they did leave a scar that is still with me today — Michael
I was in HM for one year, 1960-1, and remember Mr. Wooster very well. He was physically abusive (he once knocked me unconscious for not dotting an “i”), and I remember every Thursday he’d lock the door and open the floor to sex questions. This was every week, without fail.
I was not physically abused. (Beimg female helped) . I was however emotionally about by, say Mr. Clinton, who was furious I’d made a shirk appt. without clearing it with him — and he yelled at the top of his voice that I’d violated some HM rule or another. He was my history teacher — blustery old Irish guy, probably w/a hangover more often than not. I was not about to tell my problems to a man who had already violated my trust by yelling at a distraught teenager girl who needed help. Boundaries, anyone?
I know people like and trust Dan Alexander, but after college, I started to question him. He was also a counselor at my brother’s sleep-away camp, then he got the ok for HM to be a location shot for an indy lesbian feature, “The Incredibly True Adventures of two girls in Love,” circa 1990s something. That made me look up for the first time: this man was 2nd my brother’s camp counselor; the third (second was relevant to his teaching shills, he where he yelled at me for being bored and putting my head down on the desk, quietly; 4th up, he is credited in the thanks for this picture . WHen all the boys around me were rambunctious, and I was silent, Dan threw me out of class as the distraction: he said I could come back when I was ready to be awake.
Instead, I studied on my own, and screwed the boy’s curve grade, because I was academically 1st in his class, but he gave a higher grade to a boy who had shown up and talked — whereas I had no counseling that HM cared for anyone in that manner.
I might have considered going to class and shouting out the answers — as I did in other classes when the students were slow. However, econ was definitely a boy’s club, even as I crashed it.
Alum class of ’69. Classmate suicided. Rumors of abuse by Robert Berman who made overtures toward me, as did Somary. The place was abusive in ways in addition to those criminal/pedophilic. Typing is hard due to disease would love to chat with other victims/near victims.
Jeremy shared his phone number with us. If you want to contact him, email us at horacemannsurvivor@gmail.com, and we will send you his number.
Two Horace Mann students, both important to my life, were abused by Robert Berman.
I feel obligated to let people know that I had two unequivocally inappropriate encounters with Mr Somary in 1988 and 1989. Fortunately for me, they never went to the level of abuse, but I have never forgotten, and I have never had another encounter as a child, at HM or anywhere. I had taken some kind of senior music elective class of his, and he offered me private piano lessons. I thought it was peculiar because I really had no musical talent, but always wanted to play piano, so I went with it. Well, in his studio he gave me a short lesson, then grabbed me tightly to his chest for a very very awkward few minutes. He did it twice in that one session, and did it again the next and final session. I then really make it a point to avoid him, and he did try to woo me back, but I just avoided him at all costs. Even though all these years I knew this guy was probably making an advance towards me , I don’t think I ever told anyone. ( But now that I look back, I may have actually told one close friend of mine at the time.) But I have always known over these years that this man had a problem, and what he did to me was very inappropriate indeed. I was lucky that he never tried to do anything else. Perhaps he was targeting me because I was outside his glee club circle? Who knows. Now I think it’s important I get this out because I want his real victims to be aware that I know this man was capable of it, and I want those skeptical of the accusations to know that unfortunately the accusations were all probably true. I have no reason to make this up. I don’t feel like a victim at all, but feel its important to let the community know that I can attest first hand that Mr Somary had a problem. And it does make me sad for his victims when I read students defending him. He definitely had a problem, people.
I went to The Spence School and thank God this did not happen to me. If these allegations are true at this prestigious school and no one assisted the victims, what chance does a poor child in a public school have to find redress? This epidemic of pedophilia has to end.
My son was at HM in the late 70′s and it was only approximately five years ago that he was able to share his experience of being sexually abused with us. At that point, I understood the hitherto unexplained years of depression that he experienced.
It all came back. Mr. Wright, his football coach, asked if he could come to our house for dinner. Pedophilia didn’t make the headlines as much in those years. Nonetheless, I remember being suspicious. However, when this “fine” young man came to dinner, our suspicions were allayed.
Thanks to Amos Kamil and others who have come forward, it is our hope that healing can now take place and that the school will take responsibility for complicity in this tragedy.
To protect our son’s identity, I have used a pseudonym.
I remember a nasty bullying girl too. I remember Mark Wright bellowing about how long it took for us to get up to the top of Tillinghast. For many years I have had positive thoughts about HM, but now the negativity and ambivalence is returning, and my reality doesn’t even touch what some of my classmates experienced. I find this expose unsettling to an extent that I never expected. My thoughts are with all of my fellow alumni who were preyed upon.
Dear HM Survivor 1978,
Thank you so much for your courage in posting this. If you would like to meet other survivors like yourself, please let us know. You can email us (including from a pseudonymous gmail account) at horacemannsurvivor@gmail.com. If you prefer not to meet others at this point, we of course understand.
Peace to you.
I am very pleased that this site was setup. Thank you. I was a victim of Mark Wright in the 1977-78 school year, when I was his student in art class. My experience with him is very similar to that which is described in the NY Times article. I grew 5 inches during 7th grade and experienced some muscle pain as a result. Wright was a favored teacher of mine as I loved art and enjoyed his class. He was also a coach, so I told him about my muscle pain. He said he could recommend some exercises for me. He took me to a room in the basement of the gym and said he needed to get a feel for what was going on with me. As part of this, he wanted to see me with an erection. I thought this was odd, but I figured he was the coach and that somehow, it must be related to my muscle pains from running and so forth. I remember feeling that something was wrong but I wasn’t able to react. I did get nervous, though, because the whole situation seemed kind of gay to me and the idea of being gay was pretty terrifying. At the same time, I was the subject of nasty bullying by a girl in my class who told everyone that I was “gay”. Being nervous, I couldn’t get an erection. He said he would help me. But, nothing happened. I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t do what he wanted me to. (This was, in retrospect, probably a good thing.) The whole thing ended a few minutes later with me walking out. I buried this incident in a very deep hole, not even telling my parents for over 20 years.
The climate of fear created through a climate of sexual abuse has been a nightmare for decades. Between Horace Mann and Riverdale, both schools were pedophile playgrounds because silence is preferential to truth. Decades of silence and broken trust. Days, nights years suffering because it was “normal” to exploit students. How many have self-harmed? Turned to drugs? Considered or tried suicide? The numbers will never be accurate; the abuses too often and too much. As students we didn’t have a chance: it’s was a sexual revolution for the worst kind of human…those who preyed on innocence, trust, and youth. May the healing begin.